By chance, I saw the good question from Yahoo Question and Answer forum six months ago. I answered it from my wisdom and experience and my answer was given the best rate but the asker chose to delete the question. I want to share it here but I am going to add some points. (I have been pissed off by many women who complaint of their relationship problems without understanding its root, even “tales” men who are building a castle in air.)
Yes, Love is as an infatuation. When you see “special” person, suddenly, you yearn to be with that person whom you know hardly. It is because you are seeking a solace unconsciously and fall in an indulgence. For instance, you taste a delicious chocolate once and your craving for it is developed at rapid rate. But the excess amount of the chocolate consumption is not healthy.
Probably, falling in love and the infatuation show a small distinction.
You fall in with a person because you THINK that that person is your first love and your most suitable partner. It is totally wrong. Your first love is your own mother who created a love for you when you were born. A spouse should come between your first love and your last love if you have a child. Your parents are suitable partners in a household. Your close friends are your suitable partner in a causal society. Your close colleague is also your suitable partner in a working society. Your close mentor is one in your personal development.
Promising love is like an abusive drug. You taste a pinch of the powdered drug and then become addicted to it. You consume more and more the powdered drug. It is hard to resist the temptation. Hence, you are a unneccessary love abuse. Self-sacrifice for this is less worth than your own happiness. If you are really sacrificing yourself to someone, is it the reason that you want to gain more advantages? Never go against your own will unless you have a good reason.
However, you and someone get to know each other more while at same time, a natural love without a promise between you both is growing inadvertently. You both acknowledge more positive determinants such as level of understanding, degree of respectability, financial security, emotional security, self-identity security, sharing interests, and especially eroticism.
“a man understands a woman well and a woman understands a man well. They are more likely to be life partners.” Sourced from Buddha philosophy.
Romance and love have a different distinction too. Recently, I gained an understanding on romance. Romance is self-indulgent. Love is a sense of security.
On one of my dates, someone took me to French posh dining. At the restaurant, a server gave us a full of friendly and professional attention by greeting warmly, serving us well. I looked at a set of more than ten cutlery and luckily, I have mastered a grooming and etiquette course. Do you think it is really romance? To me, it is ‘no’. Why? Because I had not been feeling comfort and had been stressed when I had to behave well. Like you have to eat a small amount of food slowly without emptying a dish and lay a napkin gently on your lap and give a nod to a wine server with a full attention. I admit that I did not enjoy being given a full of attention mostly from the servers and the man. If you want to feel more romance, it should be to make yourself more homely comfort. If I want to go a posh dining, my reason is to taste a chef’s dish instead of that lifestyle and dating. According to the survey and the interviews, a chef’s purpose of running a posh dining restaurant is to serve his own dishes to a serious diner.
When you look at a beautiful painting, you feel romance suddenly. Thus, it is kinda self-indulgent and pleasuring without the sense of security. Romance releases you from stress.
A mother gives you a motherly love because she is always worried about your wellbeing and your future. She secures your personal development, identity and your future.
Apart from this. I notice that more women fantasize about love than men are but more men fantasize about sex. Is it because of their hormones level? There is no answer yet.
Be wise in this such relationship.